25 August 2009 - it was my 25th birthday.
last 3 years, one of my things-to-do-before-i-turn-25 was getting married.
but God are the greatest, He knows what best for me.
maybe am not ready or he is not.
or maybe we both are not ready for this.
i strongly believe that "everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, then it's not the end".
when i was a kid, when someone asked me "what do you want to be when you grow up?", i said "i want to marry a prince so that later i can be a queen" or "i want to be a celebrity" or "i want to be a lecturer just like my father" - the answers can be anything.. limitless.
back then, i saw adulthood as a place of freedom and i wanted to grow up faster - so i can drive my own car, i can go to college, i can buy anything that i want, i can have my own house, etc.
but now, how i wish i can turn back time and go back to my childhood time.
now i am 25.
am passing through the phase of life where everybody is expecting me to be somebody.
other people's expectations are beginning to rule my life.
this is natural in some ways -
- as human - i don't want to be excluded by the community.
- as children - i want to make my parents happy.
but, it's so hard to please everyone..
i think a lot of people struggle with the choice between pleasing others and doing what we want to or what we could do.
nobody knows what's happening inside my head - it is more than what they see or think.